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« : 01:12 05/02/2008 »

1.Back up entire d: drive to iMac upstairs. rsync rocks.
2.Find Windows XP install disc.
3.Reboot with Windows XP install disc.
4.Asked for product activation. Curse Microsoft.
5.Search my house in vain for my original, 100% legitimate, retail Windows XP box.
7.Search control panels in vain for a window, dialog, tab, or pane that displays my current product key.
8.Search Google for windows xp get current product key".
9.Find a utility on a cracker web page in Russia that displays the current product key. This is one of the more lame utilities, since most of the good ones allow you to  it. I dont wish to  it; I actually have a perfectly good product key, I just dont know what it is.
10.Reboot with Windows XP install disc.
11.Reboot repeatedly as required.
12.Boot screen. Choose between Windows XP Professional and Windows XP Professional". Brilliant. Pick one. The wrong one. Boot into f**ked Windows XP install. Hard reboot. Pick the right one. Make mental note to hack boot.ini later.
13.Welcome to Windows XP. You have no useful programs and no internet access. You have 30 days left for activation. Would you like to activate now? Yes, I would, but I have no internet access.
14.Unnecessarily loud and cheerful startup noises. Make mental note to turn off all sounds later.
15.Search the Network and Internet Connections wizards in vain for some way to set up my Linksys wireless card. Having never done a clean install of XP (I previously upgraded from Windows 2000), and having been moderately impressed by the new wireless networking features in XP, I naively assumed this would just work". Silly rabbit.
16.Search my house for my Linksys wireless card driver install disc. Find the install disc that came with the old card, that broke and was replaced by the new-and-improved version 3.0 card. Wonder if that will suffice.
17.Fight with the Add New Hardware Wizard trying to install the obviously inferior drivers off this disc.
18.Wonder where the Device Manager is hiding.
19.Find the Device Manager". Right-click on the unknown device, Linksys_Instant_Wireless_Card". Ute driver. Windows was unable to locate a driver for this device. Would you like to search on the internet? Yes, Id love to, but I cant, you moron. Install driver from specific location. Specify WIN2000 folder on old-and-inferior install disc.
20.This driver is not digitally signed. OK.
21.This driver may cause your computer to become unstable. OK.
22.This driver may anally rape your mother while pouring sugar down your gas tank. OK.
23.Nothing. No connection, no internet access, no acknowledgment of any device whatsoever.
25.Doesnt work.
26.Take a tour of Windows XP! I am.
28.Doesnt work.
29.Dig out old wired PCMCIA card. Take computer upstairs. Plug directly into switch. cmd. ipconfig. We have an IP address. ping www.google.com. We have name resolution and internet access.
30.Fire up Internet Explorer. runonce.msn.com. No. www.linksys.com. Support. Downloads. WPC11. Windows XP. Linksys.com rocks.
31.Insert Linksys wireless card.
32.Back to Device Manager.
33.Uninstall old-and-inferior driver.
34.Ute driver.
35.This driver is not digitally signed. OK.
36.This driver may cause your computer to become unstable. OK.
37.This driver may OK.
38.cmd. ipconfig. We have internet access.
39.Add your  Passport to Windows XP! No.
40.Fire up Internet Explorer. www.msn.com. No. www.mozilla.org. Download Mozilla.
41.Realize I should create an f8dy user because it will make my life easier later.
42.Create f8dy as an administrator. Log out. Log in.
43.Install Mozilla. Yes, I would like to make you my default browser. The world is happiness and glee.
44.Take a tour of Windows XP! Sigh.
45.30 days left for activation! Click. Yes, I would like to activate Windows over an active internet connection, now that I have one. No, I would not like to register with Microsoft. Yes, I have read the privacy statement and agree to give up my computer, my civil rights, and my first-born child. I wasnt using my civil rights anyway.
46.Back to Mozilla. Set up IMAP server. Set up SMTP server. Set up LDAP directories. Fiddle with endless settings. Ooh, 1.5 alpha has auto-login scripts in Chatzilla. Make mental note to get on IRC when this is all done and pregnant dog about it to a bunch of Linux-loving hippies.
47.Search Google for windows xp tweakui".
48.Download TweakUiPowertoySetup.exe. Run TweakUiPowertoySetup.exe. The procedure entry point GetDllDirectoryW could not be located in the dynamic link library KERNEL32.dll
49.Dig. Dig. Dig. Aha. TweakUI requires Windows XP ce Pack 1.
50.Fire up Internet Explorer again. windowsupamicrosoft.com. Do you want to install and run Windows Ute V4 Control? Yes. Always trust content from Microsoft ******on? No.
51.Windows Ute has found 39 critical utes and ce packs. Install now.
52.ce Pack 1 must be installed separately from other utes. OK.
53.Yes, I agree to bend over, grease up, and accept the End User License Agreement.
54.Wait. Time passes.
55.Wait. Time passes.
56.Wait. Time passes. It is getting dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
58.Take a tour of Windows XP!
59.Add your  Passport to Windows XP!
60.Fire up Internet Explorer. Windows Ute has found 26 critical utes. This we call progress. Install now.
61.Wait. Time passes. Reboot.
62.Take a tour of Windows XP!
63.Add your  Passport to Windows XP!
64.Control Panel. Display settings. Use Windows Classic theme. No desktop picture. Blank screen saver. OK.
65.Folder options. Use Windows classic folders. Toggle virtually every View option. OK.
66.Sounds and Audio Devices. Mu No sound theme. OK.
67.Taskbar and Start Menu. Dont hide inactive system tray icons. Use Classic Start menu. Customize. Show small icons in Start menu. Expand Control Panel. Dont use personalized menus. OK.
68.Try TweakUI again. Success.
69.Dont beep on errors.
70.Disable combo box animation.
71.Disable cursor shadow.
72.Disable list box animation.
73.Disable menu animation.
74.Disable menu fading.
75.Disable menu selection fading.
76.Disable mouse hot tracking effects.
77.Disable tooltip animation.
78.Disable tooltip fade.
79.Disable window animation.
80.Dont optimize hard disk when idle.
81.Dont show Help on Start menu.
82.Dont show Recent Documents on Start menu.
83.Dont allow web content to be added to the desktop.
84.Clear document history on exit.
85.Disable smooth scrolling.
86.Dont maintain document history.
87.Dont maintain network history.
88.Dont manipulate connected files as a unit.
89.Dont prefix Shortcut to on new shortcuts.
90.Dont show Links on Favorites.
91.Dont show My Documents on Start menu.
92.Dont show My Pictures on Start menu.
93.Use Classic Search in Explorer.
94.Use Classic Search in Internet Explorer.
95.Dont use intuitive filename sorting.
96.Do use Tab to navigate Autocomple
97.Hide places bar in common dialogs.
98.Disable balloon tips in Taskbar and Start menu.
99.Dont show any desktop icons.
100.Disable all document templates.
101.Auto-login as f8dy".
102.Quit TweakUI.
103lete everything in Start menu. Windows Catalog. Windows U Outlook Express. Tour Windows XP. Games. Accessories. MSN Messenger. Make mental note to look up how to completely uninstall MSN Messenger.
104.Set up command prompts. 3 for home. 4 for work. 5 for incoming. 125 width, 3000 height. 125 window width, 57 height. Do not let system position window.
105.Fire up Mozilla. www.cygwin.com. Download and install Cygwin.
127.rsync. rsync rocks.
138.Copy over old ssh private keys. Test ssh diveintomark.org. Oh glorious king, thy name is ssh.
139.Copy over old Emacs installation. Dig up my .emacs file that makes Emacs bearable.
140.Search Google for proxomitron". Download. Install. Configure Mozilla.
141.Search Google for uninstall msn messenger windows xp". Discover that SP1 actually makes this visible in Add/Remove Programs, Add/Remove Windows Components. Delete a bunch of other crap while were there. Outlook Express. Windows Media Player. MSN Explorer.
142.www.activestacom. Download ActivePython. Install.
143.Fire up Emacs. Test interactive Python shell in Emacs. The world is happiness and glee.
144.Search Google for kerio firewall". Download. Install. Reboot. Boot menu still lists duplicate installations.
145.Fire up Emacs. Open boot.ini. Remove old installation. Add /noguiboot flag to new installation.
147.Search Google for apache 2.0 win32?. Download. Install. Copy and paste custom stuff into httpd.conf. Restart Apache ce.

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